We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
