lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
