Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
