I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
