why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
