Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
