I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
