I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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