Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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