She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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