what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
