i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
