I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
