and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
