He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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