He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
