All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
