It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
