There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
