Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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