No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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