why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
