i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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