hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
