haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
