i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
