If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
