This is not my ceiling
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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