We're facebook friends in real life
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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