i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
