i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
