Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
