winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There's always time for handjobs
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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