i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
