WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
