Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
