dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
