Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
