marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
