Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
