i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
