How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
