i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
