worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We have started to decorate penises.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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