Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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