Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
