I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
