THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
