bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
