Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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