lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
