If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
