I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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