got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
