check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
