clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
