He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize