he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My pussy is not your playground.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
