You smell like stripper and shame
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
