i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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