Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
