After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
