the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
